is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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