Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
