"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
