its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
