Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
