I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
sarcasm needs its own font
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
