PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
