butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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