I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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