Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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