it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
