Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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