Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
