Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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