My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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