its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
