I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
