theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
