Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
