There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
