Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
