Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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