just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
