If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She bit a glass in half.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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