I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
