i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
