kristin has been a bad kristin
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
