I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
