dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
