he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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