When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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