The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
