Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
