Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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