Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
