Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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