My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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