im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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