i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
