Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
