this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You may now shotgun with the bride
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
