What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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