He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
