I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
