Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
