please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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