The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
