So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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