I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
