You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
